A decade of struggle

I started to fall apart just before my 13th birthday in 2003. 10 years later, I am about to turn 23, and while I am better equipped to handle my illness, I have by no means recovered from it. I have Major Depressive Disorder…and if I had to summarize what my teenage years were like, this would be it. I have relapsed 3 times this year…worse than I have in a long time. I have been in therapy, tried many types of medication, and been committed to a hospital during this whole ordeal.

And yet, I have managed to earn two college degrees (biology, secondary education) and I have signed a job contract to teach middle school. It is possible to be successful. I work hard in group therapy every other week. I am in a writing group for those with mental illness, and I try to support those I know are struggling. I am still struggling, however…despite all the work I do to keep the depression away.

My success has been like climbing a wall. Constant work in order to get through what I need to do, but relaxing will cause me to fall again. I fall often…not necessarily to rock bottom, but enough to cause me pain, and leave permanant scars. I want to be able to move past this wall, because each relapse leaves me less hopeful of the future…a decade is a long time. It has been quite difficult over the years, but I am still alive.

distraughtfirelord

 

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    Know you are blessed because you are still you, regardless of any and all issues you struggle with… you are strong...
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