As a kid I was molested by my uncle until I was 10. I never really dealt with it. I usually think that what happened was my fault. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with depression. I don’t what to do anymore… what happened is messing with my life and everyone thinks that I’m strange or things like that because of the things that have happened to me.
I don’t feel wanted at all anymore. I feel like- I don’t even know what I feel. People don’t understand me or what I feel. It’s gotten to the point where i separate myself from people so I don’t get in their way. If I can’t then I just stay quiet so I don’t bother anybody. My family doesn’t like me, and I know that. I just shut up and let everything happen around me. I feel stuck, lost, even forgotten. That’s it. Nobody wants me, nobody needs me. I’ll just leave, it’s what I’ve always done, and it’s gotten me this far. I used to cry, but then one day I forgot how, and now no one knows about these broken thoughts. One day I want to be able to help people like me, but that’s a dream.
"I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything”
That’s all i have to say. If I ever make something out of my life, I won’t forget what got me there. For now, I’m just another person, a statistic. I don’t know where I belong, but I want to find that place. All I know is that I don’t belong here, and it’s okay. Thanks for reading this far if you did.
i just want people to listen when I speak. I have a hard time talking to anyone that I don’t know or don’t feel completely comfortable with. I hear myself stumble over my words and I always forget what I want to say to people. I always feel rushed and sometimes people talk so much about their stuff that they never ask me how I am. I have been on antidepressants for years now and it helps me. I can tell a huge difference when I’m off them because as soon as the sun goes down I get anxious and sick feeling in my stomach. I still can’t sleep the whole night through. I always wake up and then it’s like a separate voice in my head talking loudly all my thoughts and I can never fall back asleep. I just hate being around people sometimes.
I have never had a normal childhood. Special needs siblings suck the air out of the room and that wasn’t the worst. Let’s just say what’s happened in my past has left me pretty damaged & scared. Tried to die off & again since I was 11 to about 17. I left school & got a GED. To say that I know what it feels like there’s no way out, to feel the desperation for anyone to hear me, that I’m not real or matter. I know. I’ve been there & am still there. I’m hoping that I’ve found a place here I can speak & be heard, even if it’s to others who are still stuck or managed to get out
Ever since I was twelve I would go to bed hoping that I wouldn’t wake up to see tomorrow. Everyday since then I have woken up. For sixteen years I’ve woken up. I struggle with that fact daily. I’ve always wanted to actually wanted to be happy and not just pretend that I am. But I think I just realized that I am here for a reason and if I haven’t figured out what it is yet I refuse to give up. I have to keep pushing forward. I’m going to look for the rainbow during the rainstorm and I’m going to look for the stars in the night sky because no matter how dark and dismal things look there always is that little bit of light somewhere shining through the darkness to remind us that something better lies ahead. I’m not quite there yet but I will find my rainbow or my star someday and you will to. So please DON’T GIVE UP! Push past the darkness and find your brightness because there is enough for us all.
I always thought once I got in to high school my life would be great. I am now a junior, and I feel very overwhelmed and depressed. School is becoming too much. I am in a great new relationship, but I feel so unhappy. My mom is always working, so I feel like I have absolutely no one to talk to. Whenever I think about these things, I immediately break down and start crying. I am too young to be going through these things.
I feel hopeless, don’t know whether I’m going crazy but I just think so much I hate it! I lost so much, my father has left I don’t know there, I’ve had a miscarriage. That baby was going to be the only thing I needed in my life but he/she left. That same day I lost my baby, the love of my life had left me as well. I can’t force him to stay but I wish he would of . My mother has no job and struggle for her kids. We are to much for her, we willnever be good kids except for my sister. I miss my brother so much, he is now in camp for almost a year. He was the only person I really was close to but you can say I got traumatized when the cops raided my house, left me and my mother out in the rain, beatmy brother down till he started to scream my moms name. My uncle, the only person my family nd me had is now mostly a stranger because he is to busy with his new family. I feel so alone. I’m going crazy and now that I have less people by my side get even more crazier and angrier. Sometimes I wish I was dead. I’m starting to ditch again and mess up in school. I’m only 16 and I hate what I’mgoing through. II’ve had a therapist already but I stoppedgoing. I need someone by my side to talk to me and make me feel comfortable mentally not physically, that’s the problem. My mind has tooken over and I don’t know what to do. I sleep less and THINKING is all I do now. I need help, I don’t know anymore. Sometimes I think the best thing to do is just give up, I’m never going to do anything with my life? I alwaysthought thatt me and my family would be happy, but now I don’t know where I’m going to end up?
To feel like you’re alone even if you go home your family is there or your friends are there but you feel so alone… you go to school and walk through the halls and feel so lonely feel like going somewhere to cry. You want to fit in so badly but even if you’re nice they’re not they take advantage of you and it feels horrible, you never did anything but your name is in their mouths talking laughing and mocking. You want to be home go to sleep just sleep and escape from this world leave this horrible world that doesn’t except you. All you do is feel alone, invisible, and depressed; but it all gets better I promise it all gets better. I went through so much you can’t imagine but I promise it all gets better all you gotta do is except yourself and know that you are in this world for a reason and somewhere out there wants to meet you wants to talk to you and you are perfect with all your flaws and everything because that is what makes you well you and you is perfect ♥ so keep moving forward and don’t give up and have hope ♥
I’m 24 years old and honestly I never thought I’d come on here. I don’t like talking about my problems because I’m afraid to. Not just because I’m afraid of what people will think, but I’m also afraid people may get hurt. Besides, something inside me always prevents me from truly opening up anyway. I’m just afraid, because things haven’t gotten better, but instead worse over the years of my life. I’d get into more detail but like I said before, “I’m afraid to.”